BLEACH fanfiction - part 5

During my time in the real world, I realise Aizen's experiments finally caught up with me. I pay a little visit to the vizards to ask for their help as I feel like I'm turning into a hollow even though my shinigami powers are gone.

I tell them I have very few memories of my time there but I'm sure that whatever he did to me finally kicked in. They decide to train me just like they did with Ichigo just in case I'm right. Turns out, I am. Except I'm like an incredibly better version than they are. I'm stronger, faster, and much more in touch with my dark side. On top of everything, I feel hungry when I'm around them and realise I can eat them in order to absorb their powers just like hollows do. I'm like a version 2.0 of what they are. Somehow they manage to keep me under control and I gain full power of my new skills thanks to their training.

I train with Hiyori at first then with Shinji a lot. Little by little, after training with each of them, I find myself training with Kensei a lot. 

He has a style of combat that suits me and I feel connected to him more than the others somehow (little do I know why since he hasn’t told me yet he used to be the captain of the 9^th squad just like I was). I find my place with them and create a deep bond with all of them. I spend most of my free time training with them or hanging out and I learn more and more about them and their past. Kensei and I even become inseparable. The tie I have now with them has become as strong if not even stronger than the one I had with my friends in Gotei 13.

Everything is going great until one day I lose complete control of the hollow inside me and start attacking them to swallow them whole. They fight back for a while but it's getting dangerous for them. Before they get to their last resort and imprison me until I regain consciousness (if I can), Kensei calls my name just when I'm about to eat the mask of his former vice-captain. His voice gets through me. By calling my name softly over and over, he finally reaches my soul not completely absorbed by the hollow. I open my human eyes just in time and stop myself from eating her.

Shinji seems intrigued by what just happened. He tells me I may have actually been released on purpose at Hueco Mundo to be sent here to eat them all because they are a threat to Aizen and his plans but it looks like I have a trigger to turn back.

His theory is that, even though I was released intentionally, it was just too early as Aizen's plan was for me to turn at Las Noches for the first time under his observation so he could be the first one to talk to me making his voice a trigger. That way, it would turn whatever he would say to me into an order I couldn't refuse to obey. Since Kensei was the one I was training with when I actually turned fully for the first time, it makes sense that he's now the one in possession of this trigger. He then smiles with his usual smirk.
“It's either that or you've fallen in love with him.”
I'm blushing so hard it feels like my face is on fire. He seems to have seen right through me before I could even realise what I was feeling. I know Shinji is teasing me but he's telling the truth and I’m not sure I’m ready to hear it, let alone talk about it. I get lost in deep, troubling feelings. And just as I thought I had a handle on my inner hollow, I turn back into the unstoppable monster I just was. 

Testing his theory, Shinji asks Kensei to tell me to stop but since I'm now aware of his power over me, I decide to take a desperate measure. I pierce my rib cage with my right hand and take my own heart out leaving a black hole just like a real hollow. Kensei's words still reach me like Aizen's would but the fact I don't feel anything for him any more gives me a certain free will whether to follow the order or not. The others panic seeing I'm uncontrollable.

Losing my humanity that way creates a connection in my brain and makes me remember the way Aizen tortured me in order to get control of my hollow self.
He was using his illusion power to make me believe I was witnessing terrible tortures on the people I loved. He would make me watch them die over and over and over again in horrible scenarios. He needed me to turn and if I didn't, he would cut, burn, shoot, or kill Kenpachi, Yachiru, Yumichika or Ikkaku. Under the flow of my tears, I repeated:
“I can’t!” I would repeat between my tears. “I would if I could but I can’t control it. Please stop!”
“I'll stop when you turn.”

Aizen always had that calm, peaceful face even when he was smiling like a sadistic monster.
“I can't. I told you I can't. Please let them go! Stop hurting them. They have nothing to do with this.”
“Turn and they'll be free.”
“I CAN'T!!!”
“So I can't release them... Then after they die, I’ll kill them some more.”

 
All the pain from this terrible memory just comes back and I lose control of my anger. At this moment, I feel Aizen's reiatsu in the real world. I leave with all my rage and decide to make him pay for turning me into this monster. When I get there, the fight has already started. One of the 4 pillars is down. The captains are fighting the Espada. I take the opportunity no one is looking in the ring of fire where Aizen is locked to get in and confront him. Little did I know I had a backup switch and Aizen's voice can still control me even though he wasn't there for my first transformation. Actually, the fact that I ripped my own heart out gives him free access to my powers and the fact I'm no longer a shinigami makes me a lethal weapon. He laughs at my stupidity. Then he tells me to start the white Web prison process.
 
When he did his experiments on me, Aizen managed to extract my bankai and turn it into a trans-dimensional prison where I can lock souls up wherever they are just the way I'd use my bankai on them. He multiplied this process so I can get up to 6 people in at the same time. They can't get out or use their reiatsu until I'm dead (or until Aizen tells me to stop...). If they try to free themselves and somehow succeed, I die. Also, he ordered me not to kill myself and put Tousen (who I thought I killed but it was actually just one of Aizen's illusions) in charge of my protection. The souls I lock up are decided, depending on their connection with me.
As soon as the order is out, I get the 6 of the strongest people I love the most locked in my bankai. Each of them separately in their own cell of nothingness. A fraction of my subconscious stays with them mainly to explain what's going on but also make sure they're not trying to escape. I decide to take this opportunity to have a one on one chat with the people I love most.  That also means these guys are out of the fight for the time being... I make up my mind. I'll say my goodbyes to all those who are the dearest to me then kill myself.
 

I find myself alone with my 2 best friends, each of them in their own separate bubble, they can’t see each other but I can see both of them separately but simultaneously. I explain the situation and tell them about my plan. In order to let them be part of the fight asap, I have to kill myself. 
Yumichika looks puzzled.
“I thought you couldn't do that.”
“Aizen may be smart,” I smile, “but I'm just a first experiment he didn't have the time to complete.”
 
“You're going to give up?” asks Ikkaku.
“I'm not.” I contradict. “Dying is the way I'll win this fight.”
 
Yumichika looks gloomy.
“Isn't there another option?”
“I've been through all the options and trust me, this is the way I'll win. This is the way we all win.”
 
Ikkaku stops me.
“What does Kenpachi has to say about that?”
“Pretty much the same thing I told you guys. This is my last fight. I'm going to die but I'm not losing. I'm dying with a laugh. This is my big triumph.”
 
When they finally accept my decision, we take the very limited time we have left to say our goodbyes.
 
 

I sit down on the emptiness of the bubble cell. Yumichika lies down next to me, his head resting on my lap. We talk about everything we won't be able to discuss any longer after this. I braid his hair on the side creating a hairstyle I know he'll keep afterward. Then we start talking seriously about his power.
“You should at least come clean to Ikkaku! You know he would never judge you and he will always accept you the way you are.”
He sighs.
“This is the way for you to reach the real beauty your potential is thriving for.” I say with a smile.
He looks up and I wink at him. He offers me a gentle laugh and closes his eyes. I finish his new hairstyle in silence. Then I feel it's almost time. We get up and I say goodbye. He holds me tight. Without even looking, I can feel his smile fading away.
“Don’t frown,” I say, “or your beautiful face will wrinkle.”
He laughs again and looks fondly at me. I remind him not to look down on his own power and promise him that, whenever he'll smile, I'll smile right by his side. I kiss his cheek softly and slowly disappear.
 
 

Ikkaku and I sit face to face and discuss my plan, the battle against Aizen, the fights we just witnessed, etc... I tell him off for not using his bankai by pride against the arrancar.
“ Your mission was to protect the pillar and by not using your full power you put everyone else in danger!”
“I know, I screwed up…”
“Look, I know what your pride means to you, believe me, but there are some battles within yourself you shouldn't be afraid to back down from. You’re strong enough to work this out and sometimes pride isn't what it looks like.”
He gets up. Noticing he seems upset about something else, I get up to and face him, forcing him to stop. I ask him what's troubling him. He thinks for a minute and starts blushing.
“I’m going to miss the crap out of you…”
I laugh but stop suddenly when he hugs me. Shocked by his gesture, I open my eyes wide but embrace the moment and hug him back. He steps back after a few seconds and looks deep into my eyes.
 “I’m proud of having fought by your side.”
“You have no idea how much I understand!” I smile, my eyes filling up with tears. “Always remember that whenever you'll fight, I'll always be fighting with you.”
Then I slowly disappear.
 
 

After I explain where he is and what’s going on, Hisagi sits. I sit too, my back against his.
“I'm so sorry you’re about to lose another captain. But I know you can make it through this difficult situation.”
I mention his tattoo and tell him I met someone with the same on their chest.
“Who was it?”

He sounds very interested so I tell him the whole story of what happened to me, how I became a hollow and how I heard the Vizards also became hollows before me.
“Kensei and the others trained me and I developed a deep relationship with them.”
Hisagi seems fascinated by my story. He tells me his tattoo comes from Kensei as he admired him.
“I always admired him after he saved me when I was a kid.”

As we both reminisce, we start feeling nostalgic and I tell him I don't want to feel sad for my last moment with him so I change the subject and start talking about his power.
“As my last advise to you as your captain, please make peace with your zanpakutou and start embracing your full strength. The only way for you to control it, is to understand it and accept it the way it is.”
 I hold his hand in mine.
“Whenever you feel uncertain, remember that I'll be right by your side to give you the confidence you need to believe in yourself and in your zanpakutou.” I kiss his forehead and dematerialize. 
 
 

After discussing the plan of my death in order to win this fight and take back their place in that battle against Aizen, Kenpachi turns his back at me. I know he's just avoiding to meet my eyes until I go. I get close to him and raise my hand to his back but I let go before I even touched him. I tell him I know what he's doing and I respect him and his decision but I remind him this is the last moment we'll ever going to see each other. I tell him no one is around to see or hear us. I ask him to carefully consider what he's going to do and say because if he doesn't do it right, he'll regret it forever and this will haunt him.
He suddenly turns around and holds me tight with all the passion he usually puts in a fight. I'm a bit surprised he actually listened to me for once but glad he came to his senses and I hug him back. When he lets go of me, he looks at me in such a tender way, I barely recognise him.
“I’m proud of you,” he says. “I’m proud I had the chance to be your captain and your friend. I’m proud you gave me the chance to share a part of your life with me. I’m proud of your last fight and the way you leave this world with a laugh.”
“ I'm happy with the way it ends for me,” I tell him. “I'm happy I got to say goodbye to the ones I love most and I'm relieved you gave me a proper goodbye. I feel lucky I was able to share my life with the man I respect and admire like a god.
We stare at each other in silence for a while.
“Please remember that whenever you will hold your zanpakutou, I'll turn my eyes towards you and watch your fights. Please make sure to keep an eye on the others for me. And since I can’t ask her in person, make sure you ask Yachiru to keep taking good care of you.
Then I start to disappear. Before I'm completely gone, I see him smile at me so I smile back and vanish.
 
 

Kensei looks around him, trying to figure out what’s going on.
“Where am I?”
“In my bankai.” I answer.
“Interesting!” He smiles.
Once again, I explain the situation.
“At least I’m stuck here with you.” he says and winks at me.
I blush and smile.
“And it looks like you’re back to your normal self.” He adds.
“Yeah, looks like my hollow form is on the outside, trapped by Aizen’s leach.”
“That’s a relief!”
I smile again then start feeling guilty.
“Look, I’m sorry about ripping my heart out earlier. I think the hollow inside me heard when Shinji pointed out that your voice was the trigger because I had feelings for you. It probably thought it would free me from your grip and looks like it did.
Kensei doesn’t answer. He looks sad and that’s an emotion I have never seen on his face. I decide to tell him my plan to free everyone in my bankai by dying. Again, he doesn’t say anything. When I’m about to ask him what he’s thinking, he runs towards me so quickly, I don’t have time to gasp when he hugs me. He holds me so tightly, pressing my head against his chest. He runs his hand through my hair and kisses the top of my head.
- I’m going to miss you, he whispers.
I had no idea he was the emotional type but his words warm my heart and I hug him back, enjoying this moment until I slowly fade from his tight grip.
 
 
“You have got to be kidding me!” I say when I realise who is standing right in front of me.
“What’s happening?” asks Grimmjow when he understands he’s stuck in my bankai with me.
“What on earth are you doing here?” I ask, refusing to admit the reason for his presence in the web.
“Beats me!”
I roll my eyes and explain the situation once more.
“No idea why you of all people showed up!”
“Come on, you have to admit you and I had some good time back in Hueco Mundo!”
He winks at me with a grin. I want to slap his perfectly shaped face but I just smile instead.
“Anyway, now I guess you’ll just have to wait until I die do be released.”
“That’s kind of a bummer,” he says to my surprise. “I was hoping we'd get to fight side by side again.”
I can’t believe what I’m hearing.
“I guess I’ll make the best of this little time we have left…”
He steps forward me. I step back. I don’t know what he means by that and what he’s planning on doing.
“Relax, I’m not going to bite you!”
He moves again to come closer then hugs me. Shocked by his behavior, I just stand there, unable to do anything.
“But you know, I have a feeling we’ll see each other again somehow. I have the feeling you’ll need me again!”
“Shut up!” I laugh, hugging him back.
He moves back and punches my shoulder gently.

Before I know it, I disappear as my physical body is dying in the real world.